Stepping stones in a little pond: July 2006

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Life’s Journey With You, My Friend

Looking across the room at you, my friend,

I realise that our friendship

has been like a river flowing

one more turn, one more bend.

Memories of times we’ve shared together,

times we’ve laughed,

times we’ve cried,

times we’ve felt we just could go no further!

Still we continued holding hands,

helping each other,

coming up with new plans,

And with God’s grace,

we will all run and finish the race.

Now we have come to another bend,

when we must finally part,

finding life’s journey and part as friends,

May the good Lord bless us, keep us, guide us,

keeping us always His precious child.

As we say

Goodbye, Au Revoir,

Arriverderci, Selamat Tinggal!

Jessie & Me
17 July 2006

Sunday, July 16, 2006

To Love Is A Gift

I was browsing through some of my old write-ups when I came across this piece which I wrote in form 2 (2003). It was written in memory of my unborn twin brother, Dion. It was also the time when I realised that if God wanted me to have a brother, He would have let Dion live. So, there was no need to have godbrothers in my life! What a REVELATION! Thank you, Lord!

This is for you Dion who I know am my angel watching over me.

TO LOVE IS A GIFT

Everyone that was everyone in college knew about the friendly non-identical twins. There was Josh. He was intelligent, tall, athletic and blessed with a heart of gold. Then there was Sandra. She was petitie, talented, a person full of life with an infectious laughter. Josh was into basketball. Sandra had her heart set in song and dance.

Like every young adult, they dreamed dreams. Their days were usually fun, carefree days, without much worry or stress until that dreadful day in May.

"Josh? Are you coming for my audition this afternoon?" asked Sandra. Josh replied with a question, saying, "Sandra, have you forgotten? My tournament finals are on!" Sandra was disappointed when she heard this as she had counted on her brother being with her at the audition as a form of moral suppport.

She was lacking in confidence and wanted him to be with her. But, being the good natured person she was, she gave in with a sigh and said in a shaky voice, "I'll be alright, just a bad case of nerves I guess. Wish me luck?"

When she arrived at the hall for the audition, there were many participants there. To try to overcome her nervousness, she put on her dancing shoes and started practicing her dance routine. Soon she heard her name being called. Taking a deep breath, she took her queue on stage. The pianist played the introduction to the musical piece but somehow she could not focus on her dance steps.

Sandra was frustrated with herself for she couldn't concentrate and kept making so many mistakes. "Ooooooooo! What's the matter with me?" she cried. Halfway through her dance piece she stopped and wiped the perspiration from her brow. Then she saw Josh at the end of the hall. That sight of him and the knowledge that he was present, gave her the inspiration to go on. So she waved franticly at Josh and called out to him, "Josh! Josh!".

Suddenly there was a loud creaking sound which came from the ceiling of the stage. Everyone looked up at the ceiling but before anyone could cry out a word of warning, there was a loud cracking sound. One of the ropes securing the sandbags tied above the stage had snapped and came crashing down.

In a twinkle of an eye, and amidst much dust and chaos, it took everyone sometime before they discovered that Sandra was its victim. The sandbag had fallen on her head. She was motionless! Running as fast as his legs could carry him, Josh made a bee line for the stage, shouting franticly, "Sandra! Sandra? Sandra!"

There was dust everywhere and that dreadful feeling of silence!

After waiting outside the operation theatre for four torturous hours, the surgeon walked towards his worried parents. Josh was in a state of shock. What ever the doctor was saying seemed like he was speaking in Greek, Dutch or some foreign language. Only the words, "We've done all that we can! She may never wake up again!" kept ringing over and over again in his head. Sandra, according to the doctor was sleeping the sleep of the dead. She was in a coma!

Josh couldn't help feeling stifled. He had to get out of there. He felt like the air in his lungs was being sucked out of him. He just could not breathe. So, like a mad man he ran down corridors and stairways. He could not accept what had happened to Sandra. Not his Sandra! Never to hear her laugh or sing again? "Oh, I can't bear it", he cried out in agony.

In his frenzy he did not realize he had wondered into the hospital's little garden until he felt his mother's hand on his shoulder. She hugged him and they both cried till they were spent. Placing a cup of hot coffee in Josh's hands, she gently got up and left him sitting on the garden's bench. How long he sat there, he did not know.

Then, something caught his eye. Something embedded in the surface of the concrete pavement. It was a little plant pushing its way up through a crack in the concrete. Josh leaned closer, squinting. Actually, the little plant had cracked the cement in its quest for the sun, for life. What a revelation!

In that quietness, he heard these words spoken gently to him,

Friday, July 07, 2006

I wish I could breathe...a moment, a chance before I leave

Since I was young till now, every summer holidays I spent going to the airport to welcome back my aunt and cousins. At the end of the holidays, I bid them farewell. Then there;s the hugging and the tears... the usual see-you-next-year scene.

Well, this is the last year. I shall not be seeing them here in Penang so often as next year Nat goes off to Uni and I most definitely will leave this beautiful Penang...which I called 'home' for the last 17 years of my life for a new destination... The only consolation is that I'll have relatives there to relieve some of my home sickness.

Home sickness....was the very reason I did not choose Australia as my destination although I'm very much in love with the country. Alright, I've got to admit, the Malaysian food there cannot even come close to the authentic food here! ;) Me and food! Haha!
For two plus years, I saw my very close friend go through the pains of home sickness. I promised myself that I would try not to subject myself to such pain. Now, I see a happy smile, for he is closer to home. Nothing like Penang huh?? ;) In many ways my dearest friend, you have influenced my decision not to be so far away from home.

Today, I was sitting down during recess time before my duty (alone for awhile surprisingly!), and when I watched my friends (juniors mainly) laughing and talking happily together, I felt so nostalgic. I wanted so badly to be with them then...laughing and talking so carefree but I had duties to do. Then I wondered about my time running out here and how they would fair when I'm gone....finished with school which will be only in a few months time. They have many times told me how much they missed me whenever I was absent from school. They would even call me at home from the public phone in school...scolding me for not coming! Haiz... (Hmm...what was their reason of using it during school hours to Ms Yeow?? I wonder!)

I would miss them too. They have brought me much joy with their woes, silliness, stories, jokes, etc. etc. I will never forget how my pockets get filled up with sweets...and my lunch box with food! My prefect;s tie and spectacles going for a walk... My books disappearing mysteriously when they want my full attention away from my books or a conversation. Somehow...they appear again. Being dragged everywhere!
Every year, being hassled whether I have a boyfriend or not...who is he? which school? How old? What does he look like? Which one I like? Whose my crush? Haha!
Oh yeah! The infamous question.... What does the 'B' in my name stand for? Scraps they get into...then panic station...Nessa what to do? Nessa what to say? Nessa why?
Hmm..... My darling juniors! Never a dull moment with them! They help me through each day. They make me laugh. They make me remember of how I was at their age...

I guess I'm not an ordinary prefect...I don;t sit with the 'elite' who have tables of their own. Well, I don;t regret not being with them...sticking together like dough.:S

Countdown
Trials: 37 days
SPM: 128 days

My head is slowly disappearing into my books and I'll soon be buried in them. No calls, no internet etc. How am I going to survive?? I guess God gave them to me as a gift... the Gift of Friendship... and the memory of good friends. That should be enough I guess, to hold me till I see them again...God knows when. But until that time comes...I shall enjoy every moment I have with them. I praise the Lord for them.

When I Get There

I wish that I could breathe
A moment just to be here
A chance to take it in
Before I have to leave

So this is how it feels
To walk into a daydream
Can't tell you how my heart sings
To see it all for real

When you do, what you love, it feels amazing
If you do what you love, you can do anything at all

I always said when I get there
I'll change the world, I'll take more care
I'll touch the sky, be more prepared
When I get there

The road rolls on and on
It twists a while and then returns
Where here turns onto there's long gone
Before we notice

When you do, what you love, it feels amazing
If you do what you love, you can do anything at all

I always said when I get there
I'll change the world, I'll take more care
I'll touch the sky, be more prepared

I packed my bags
I left my room
There's nothing more that I can think to do
Now I need to breathe
I just need to breathe

I always said (Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)when I get there
I'll change the world, (Oh wow)I'll take more care
I'll touch the sky I’ll we do (I’ll touch the sky)

I always said when I get there
I'll change the world, I'll take more care
I'll touch the sky, be more prepared (Yeah yeah)
When I get there