Choosing a Saints Name...

For our confirmation, it is required that we choose a saint's name. Well, that seemed a simple enough task to do....until I got down to it!

Gosh! The number of female saints as compared to male saints....makes one tend to think that there was a lot of male chauvanism involved those days! Surely, there must have been an equal amount, if not more, holy women than men...

Alright, in that case, I thought of settling down with my own name... However, there is none! Which makes me recall what my friend also with the same name asked me in catechism..

'There's no saint to our name...would you like to be the first?'

To which I replied,

'I'm the last one to be on the saint list!'

Now, I can't help agreeing more with my statement after having been through the list of names of saints..

My goodness! They either were commonly beheaded, scalped or burned to death! For those who did not... they died of tragic sicknesses... Are these the criterias to becoming a saint? :S Certainly not for me! Haha!

Well, eventually I settled with one name... She's not very well known...but she had a husband though they both died together....beheaded. Kind of romantic don't you think? Oh dear, oh dear.. Better than nothing isn't it? At least when they met Saint Peter... they were together and carrying each other's head? Hmm...wonder whether Saint Peter had problems talking to them...or not?

Truth sometimes hurts...

Once, I asked my darling cousin who is a phD holder in philosophy,

'How does one know when one is in love?"

He replied,


' When a girl is in love,

she will become more BEAUTIFUL'

But...

'When a guy is in love,

he becomes STUPID!'

Haha! ;P This I'm told is from 'Confucius, he says....'

What would Jesus Say?

From my post entitled, 'Exclusiveness', one may be inclined to think that exclusiveness is definitely contagious and may spread among one's clique of friends. Hence, the exclusive club, the elite group etc. The type of group who may be having a discussion even with you present and yet you can't help feeling you're somehow excluded?

A solution to this bad habit which I have found to be useful and works, is to ask oneself everytime before one utters any word or takes any action, is....' What would Jesus say/do?' Sounds so holy and righteous, yeah? Haha! Well, whatever, it does help one to hold one's emotions in check before taking on an action. Like I've often heard, Don't make decisions when you are filled with emotions! Hang in there girls! When you're faced with those lovey dovey stuff, remember what I always say! Haha. Think with your head not your heart! K?

Often when faced with a situaition that becomes too huge to handle, one tends to innocently exclaim, 'What did I do?'...'I don't remember'........'Where got?'..... Sounds familiar doesn't it? Yes, you did........usually in the course of events which led to such a situation, one did at one point or another say or do something without thinking. It's common human nature to not admit to the deed. And here is when exclusiveness comes to the rescue. Haha!

Here I would like to share something I read from 'A Ray of Hope' which has inspired me to follow this course of action.

However, this doesnt happen to Jesus...Every thing he uttered was prayerfully considered and deeply infused with great wisdom. He never had to regret anything He said.

Jesus' secret lay in His close communion with God His Father. They were as one. Jesus knew His voice. He only spoke as His Father impressed the words upon His heart.

At some point in time or other, we have been guilty of the callous remark. From our mouths have sprung forth not only praise and thanksgiving but also harsh words and cutting remarks that have hurt and deeply wounded others.

Before we utter any word, seek Him and call out, "Jesus! What would you say?"

Hi friend

Hi friend,

In life, there are many things,

which come our way,

In life, there are many people,

who pass through in the night,

How often do we think,

shall we let our heart sway,

How often do we stop to say,

"Hi friend, could I care for you and hold you tight?"

We're much too busy most of the time,

We are so stingy,

and that's a crime

So my dear,

I may never have the chance again to say,

how much you mean to me..

For I know there'll come a day

when we each have to go our way,

Never again to get the chance to tell each other,

how much we need to be loved,

to be cared,

and to be held tight.

If only but just a while...

I'll say this now,

and forever hold my tongue,

You were a friend in my need.

You still are my friend,

who knows me too well...

I will always have a thought for you,

and hold you dear in my heart.

THERE! I'VE SAID IT ALL!

April 2004

A 'suicidal' poem

Teenagers today are often described as,

Uncooperative, undisciplined, ill-manered, lazy, irresponsible, rude.

In short, youths with an attitude.

But, did you ever stop?

Yes, stop to wonder?

Why they are the way they are?

Did you lend them an ear?

In school, where I am,

There are always exams!

And so..................

Once again my chest tightens with anxiety and fear,

as another exam draws near.

Each day there always seems to be so much to do.

Endless amount of homeowrk to get through.

Too many folios!

Too many essays!

Too many reports!

And so.........so little time!

Oh Time! Where are you?

Why do you tick so fast by me?

Oh how I wish there was more time!

And so................

With arms wide open

I surrender the agony of my soul

To the ONE who is in heaven

May the Divine,

Take pity on me and find,

One befitting of His mercy and grace,

And so fill me with courage and strength to finish this race!

P.S. My English teacher thought I was 'suicidal'...after reading this in class~

18 April 2005

That word..

Today, the preacher talked and it was hard to make out what he was saying with his strong accent. But strangely enough, a word hit me....'exclusiveness'. Now, where oh where have I heard this word? Reflecting back, I must have read it somewhere...

Whatever, this is what I could remember.

Exclusiveness is a common trait which most of us have. It tends to make us selfish which leads to the destruction of the beauty of relationships and even unity... We have been taught from a tender age....to love one another and allow ourselves to be loved. Not 'love' in sense of lovers.

However, this exclusiveness or pride, i should rather say, convinces us that we have the right to exclude others from our conversations and sharings. We have the right to pretend that we did not see a friend coming our way, that a simple "hi" or smile would be too costly. We even do not have the time to acknowlege greetings only when it is to our convenience. How sad! Yes, and the list goes on. And the friendships become sour, fragile, just have no chance to breathe and slowly die. So heartbreaking!

It soon becomes a bad habit and it is so hard to let go. Instead of acknowledging this as a human weakness, we try to justify it and but put the blame on the other.

How does this 'exclusiveness' breed within us? It all starts when we experience success when we feel we have beaten the odds mainly. Well, yes..it is something to be proud of at this stage espeacially when you have struggled so hard...to get to the point that you have aimed for. But, there are many more points to reach. And, if you were to look behind you and also around you, you would realise that your family and friends have been left behind and worst still, have at one point or other, been hurt and neglected. How sad again I have to say!

Is this what Jesus taught us? Did He ask us to be this? Exclusive? He came for everyone espeacially the lost. He said 'Love one another as I have loved you'. I;m sure the love he meant wasnt sexual love. Many of us just jump to conclusions and become jittery at the very mentioned of the word. We get all our issues confused. Even a friend says 'I love you' does not mean he/she is in love with you. Then that 'exclusiveness' rears its head again. Instead, of saying 'Yeah, I love you too' when someone says 'I love you', we get all tied up in our knickers and start avoiding the person. Yet, we talk so much about 'we need to love one another'.

It just makes me puke. I feel like screaming 'you bladdy HIPOCRITES! Heck, GET A LIFE!!' Ish...but thats the way of the world. Its not Jesus' way as I have discovered many times. So often I have to ask myself, what would Jesus do? Why do we need to be exclusive? What does it achieve us? What good does it bring? The negative side rather is what I would say.

Exclusiveness would definitely not earn us any love. We would end up very lonely souls. Probably filled with bitterness with no room for love. How sad! for GOD IS LOVE!

The Present

Wah, time has really passed since the last I;ve written my reflections into this blog.

Nevermind, its better now then never! The present counts...

In short,

I'm back!