I have often wondered why some couples are able to be married for so many years while others just get divorced. This year is double festival for my family as my parents will be celebrating their 25th and my grandparents their 50th wedding anniversary. Wow! that’s longer than I have lived!
I remembered mom mentioning some time back when she attended a psycho-spirituality course and she used to share a lot with me…… In psychological terms there is such a thing as the Anima (feminine dimension) and Animus (masculine dimension). Hmmmm……..So I got hold of her notes, very interesting notes and this is one aspect of it. Briefly though.
“In all of us we have the two elements, emotionally & psychologically, we are
bi-sexual.
Take the Adam & Eve story for instance. Is it a myth, a story with certain essential or basic truths?
It can’t be taken literally that’s for sure………Look for the underlined truth which the myth is trying to tell us – that when God created Adam, his masterpiece, Adam was already bi-sexual, so He could create Eve from Adam. This is because the feminine (Anima) was already in Adam. Adam was not happy because the feminine in him was not integrated, so he was alone. Likewise, we have to integrate both the masculine and feminine in us. So the Anima & Animus are described as the contra-sexual archetype.” (A man has an Animus, feminine dimension, in him just as a woman has an Anima, masculine dimension in her.)
“Human sexuality does not mean only sex. Sex is just one aspect of human sexuality. Human sexuality is a way of life, not just something that one has. To be human is to be sexual and to be sexual is to be human. Sexual here means everything that makes a man a man & a woman a woman. Thus one’s sexuality (masculinity vs feminicity) pervades all areas of his/her life,….his/her way of thinking, acting, loving & being loved, approaching & relating to God and people, his/her religious experiences.
One must be confident & comfortable with one’s sexuality before he/she can successfully accept and relate to the opposite sex. (Wow! A keynote to remember?)
Complimentarity is the key to male-female relationships, not rivalry.”
“ In Man-Woman Transference Relationships, there are 5 levels.” Won’t get too technical here but in short, what happens when e.g. a man falls in love with a woman?
Haha! On the first level, when a man falls in love with a woman, actually he is falling in love with his own self, the woman (feminine dimension) in himself. Vice versa. The man projects his own anima onto the woman. (she probably looks like the female version of him too). If the anima is not integrated within himself than he can grow disillusioned with love.
What happens when there is not integration?
The man hates woman, totally neglects his anima and looks only at a man. GAY!
The woman hates man, totally neglects her animus and looks only at a woman. LESBIAN!
Whoa! I think I’m integrated with my Animus as I ‘cuci mata’ with someone. Haha!
Anyway here’s the fun part…………take a picture of a couple. E.g. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie and you’ll be able to see at once the compatibility, the likeness in them. That’s the first level……..the physical. As we are said to have 7 look alikes in this world, can I say then that I have 7 animus? Guys who are compatible look alikes? For fun, I took Darius pic and matched it with an old schoolmate of mine and the match is so fantastic that he doesn’t want to meet her. Scary cat? (hahaha!) I have found 2 for myself.. Better not mention who she is or there’ll be retribution for me. Hahaha!Still wondering whether Joshua and his girlfriend do look alike. xD
On an easier note I would term this attraction as chemistry. I mean, a guy can have all the assets you are dreaming of and yet, you keep finding your eyes going back to one particular guy. I have often wondered about this peculiarity in me? Maybe this Anima/Animus explanation shades some light and helps me to understand myself better. It’s not lust, just a kind of chemistry that exists between 2 people not with every Tom, Dick and Harry. As I'm studying Biology, hormones do secrete a certain smell that certain people can detect at close proximity. Hahaha! Interesting ya?
Looking at my grandparents’ photos and also that of my parents, they do look alike! So, if you are wondering if the he/she is the ‘one’, just do some matching of pics. Here’s a tip, it got to be at the same angle and expression of one’s face. Also, age.
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