'I believe what I see'

On Monday, during lunch, I had an interesting conversation with J, who is younger than me, about meditation. It really was so refreshing to be able to relate and feel ordinary. Although we are both Catholics, he is searching for the light in Buddhism which I found to have been a waste of energy as he has already been given the light in Baptism. Although I am very much a novice I find it so hard to leave meditation and yet I struggle with it. Meditation is so simple but not easy at all. I struggle with the silence. It is in the silence that we take the light off our self so that we can see Divine light. It cannot be learnt, only experienced.

Anyway, one of the aspects I would like to highlight here and which relates to my earlier composition about the wondering me is "what is actually meant when one says, 'I believe what I see....just like I believe what I hear".

I am taught that when I see, I do not see only with my eyes. I see with my mind, my heart and my soul. Why? It is because what I see may not be taken as Gospel truth. This world is full of deceptive ways and mischief makers. We need to be still to discern the truth or we will be easy victims of mischief makers who have a warped sense of humour of having fun at your expense. Ugh, SICK! Yeah, the world is full of sick people. So do I want to become one of them? I have been a victim of such mischief makers and unless you have been one, you cannot understand the pain and the damage it does to the soul.

A little of this knowledge I shared with my girl-friend, S, the other day about not being so quick to make a judgement or decision about someone. I am glad she heeded my sharing for she told me today that if she had not done so and had given in to her usual self, she would have judged the person wrongly. She took time to be still and reflect and 'see'.

I have also been taught never to make a decision when I am filled with emotions. This is because if you are not clear in your head and you make a wrong decision, your problem will become not one problem, but two or more! :S I learnt this the hard way. So, what to do? Be still, silent and simple. I need to turn to the Divine One. As I'm a Catholic, it is Jesus Christ for me.

There are things I see and hear in college which make me sad. I wish I could have the opportunity to share. But, there are people, the more intelligent they are, the more proud they tend to be, the more stubborn they get. E.g. A problem which can be avoided or solved, is highlighted and dragged on to a complex situation. Friendships go sour, hearts get broken, persons not given a chance or benefit of the doubt etc. And me? I am not perfect, I am searching like my young friend and I am not allowed to talk or share, unless I am sought after. That's the rule. ' Ask, and you shall receive,' is the words of Jesus and is also what my friend reminded me last year when I needed help. I was, then, too proud to ask his help and that was my lost. Now, I am wiser...a little ^^.

It is easier for me to make friends with persons who are girls than guys. Maybe I am old-fashioned but I find guys tend to have this hang-up, when a girl is the initiator in a friendship. They think ' maybe she is interested, too friendly, too easy etc.' LoLz. But, there are also guys who are very open-minded or think they are open-minded. hahahaha!

Maybe, I am also pre-conditioned that a guy has to make the first move. This has been true for me in some instances where I was friendly in the past and was misunderstood. It hurt when it came back to my ears that my good intentions were misplaced and abused. So, my apologies friends, if you think I am not friendly. What I am practising is called 'prudence.' It is also called 'self-preservation.'

I hope all of you who are reading this post, will have some light shed into your life or give you some food for thought. =)